Or the next doctor, nurse, 3rd grade teacher, scientist, writer, singer, engineer, lawyer, or whatever the heck she wants to be. You know who taught me that? My mom and my dad, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and my older cousins, and every other influential woman (and man) who directly crossed my path and gave me strength and confidence as a girl and more importantly as an individual. She needs me, her mother, to give her that confidence every day. She needs the women in her life to remind her that she can do and be anything she puts her mind to. She needs to know that when she wants a guitar but tells me that it is only for boys… oh no, no, no. She will be getting that guitar and learning how to play it if that is what she wants to do. She needs to see that her mother demands respect and that her father gives her mother respect on a daily basis. She needs to continue to see her father show her mother respect so that one day, she will be loved by a man that greatly respects her. We need to be her greatest examples of love and respect.
My son isn’t off the hook either. It is our job as his parents to show him the importance of respecting women. That he should act like a gentleman but also speak to a woman as his equal. This is not something that is contradictory – it is possible to do both. You can hold a door open for a woman and then sit down and go toe-to-toe over who you think was the best president in U.S. history. This is possible; I’ve seen it happen.
But, I also want him to know that I don’t plan to give any advantages or disadvantages to him or his sister. They will both have to work to achieve their goals and continually strive to do their best, knowing that their parents are there supporting them at every step. They will have to earn good grades with extra study hours, or get more playing time on the field or court with more practice time. We will not be the parents that allow our children to disrespect adults and think they can come crying to us when they do not get their way. It is our responsibility to prepare our children for the real world, and hope we have done all we can to make sure they succeed. It seems crazy to think of my 3 year old and 1 year old out in the real world, but the scary thing is, it will likely come faster than I realize and I need them to be ready for it.
Above all else, it is so important that everyday my daughter and my son see examples of love and kindness. I want them to know they can always trust in the love of family and each other. I know it is unrealistic to keep them in a bubble that will shelter them from hate, bullies, and disrespect. But it is our job as their parents to show them how to act in the face of adversity and how to always treat others with love, respect, and kindness, no matter how others treat you. After all, the golden rule does not only apply to those who treat you kindly. It is the law of reciprocity principle of ‘treating others as one would wish to be treated.’
These examples of love, kindness, and respect will hopefully instilla consistent strength and confidence in both my son and daughter to grow into individuals that will one day learn to be those shining examples of love, kindness, and respect for someone else in whatever profession they choose to fill. The sky’s the limit.
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