A Letter to my Sons’ Future Girlfriends

 

Dear Amazing Woman,

I would like to take a moment to tell you a little about the young men that I have spent the better part of the last couple of decades nurturing…

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As you may or may not yet know, raising children is hard, but raising a gentleman is even harder. As a woman, this was a particularly difficult undertaking because I have never been a man, nor have I raised one, but I saw the big picture in my mind of how I wanted my sons to be. There were many challenges and pitfalls along the way, but I was there to guide them in the hopes of making them the wonderful men they turned out to be.

I started long before I even knew I was destined to raise sons by picking their father. I wanted the best in the bunch! He had to be someone who would love them completely; give them his time, attention, and unwavering support; and lead them to be good men by example. When I found him we worked as a team in every respect, whether it was finances or housework, child care or homework. We loved each other completely, and respected one another. I did this so they would know that loving-strong relationships require a balanced partnership.

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Once my beautiful sons were here, I loved them so immensely that at times I would be overcome with emotion just thinking about them. My heart felt like it could burst when I was away from them. I gave them so many hugs and kisses I was afraid I might wear the fuzzy hair off of the tops of their heads, and told them I loved them at least 50 times a day. I wanted them to feel loved and to never feel embarrassed or ashamed to show affection to others.

I baptized them, prayed with and for them, and enrolled them in religious education so that they could learn about God, and be guided by his word and principles. I constantly surrounded them by friends and family, and continued to help nurture those relationships. I did this so that they would prioritize their loved ones and God above all others.

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I sang, laughed, danced, and acted silly with them every day. I put on puppet shows, played games and went on pretend adventures. I did this because I wanted them to have a wonderful sense of humor, to never take things too seriously, and so they would always be able to make you smile. I also gave them my uninterrupted attention as much as I possibly could so that they knew they were important, and so they could make others in their lives feel that way too.

I taught them to say please and thank you, excuse me when interrupting or sneezing, and to hold doors for everyone. I showed them that there are those less fortunate than them, and that it is important to make sure that other people have enough. I made them volunteer, even when they protested, and do chores around the house. I wanted them to be giving, thoughtful, helpful, polite, and most importantly kind.

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I taught them to tell the truth, even if it gets you in trouble, to stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves, even if it’s hard, and to watch out for those they care about. I did this so they would be honest and loyal. I taught them right from wrong, and made sure that they were accountable for their actions. I made sure they knew that they must follow through with their commitments, and that a promise was more than empty words so they would become responsible and trustworthy.

 I traveled with them, read them books, enrolled them in endless lessons and activities, and created art and music with them so they would be educated, well-rounded, and adventurous. I also taught them that to get where they wanted in life they had to work hard, and sometimes sacrifice their immediate needs for their long-term goals. I did this so that they would know that the best things in life are worth the work and the wait.

 If one of my sons has chosen you, you must be an awesome person in your own right, and I can’t wait to meet you! I hope I did well in the task of raising not only good men, but good human beings. Please love my son, respect him, appreciate him, take care of him and reflect all of these wonderful qualities back onto him and I promise that you won’t be disappointed.

Most Sincerely,

Mother of sons

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