This Year I am Going to be the Selfish Mom

New Year New You? I usually I ignore the New Years hype. I believe more in goals and focusing on change than something that feels superficial or likely to fade quickly. But I will be honest, 2016 kicked my butt in a bunch of ways. So, as 2017 dawned upon, me I resolved to do something different this year.

When I thought about some of the stress that created my own chaos in 2016, I realized to really create change I needed to do more for myself.

In ways big and small in 2017 I resolve to reclaim more of me and be the selfish mom.

  • I will drink one hot cup of coffee in the morning.
  • I will not get up from the table to get a fork, napkin, water, or second helping for my kids until I eat my own meal.
  • I will not cancel plans with my friends. I will make the dinners, book clubs, and coffee dates as often as I can.
  • I will delegate and push back. Those things that just seem easier to do myself? I will ask others to step up.
  • I occasionally let my kids get some screen time so I can get some me time with a bath, book or another cup of coffee.
  • I will take some days off. Not to work, run errands or to volunteer in my kids classroom (yes, I will do all of those things too). But I will take days off from my obligations to recharge and do what I want.
  • Grocery shopping will no longer be considered “me time.”
  • I will actually read the books piled on my nightstand.
  • I will attend the exercise classes I love.
  • I will not schedule my work appointments, medical appointments, and commitments around everyone else.
  • I will no longer come last.

These things (which really are mostly small) are ways of taking care of me. They are ways to reconnect with what matters to me. They are ways to ensure my needs are met and I can take up space as more than mom.

And guess what? You may have gotten there before me, but none of these things are selfish at all.

We don’t have to be a martyr to nurture our families. We certainly don’t have to sacrifice ourselves to care and sacrifice for others.

So, bring it on 2017. I am ready for you. Who wants to meet for coffee?

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kristinevazzano
Hi! I am Kristine, mama to two spirited, creative and fiercely independent toddlers. I am also a clinical psychologist specializing in eating disorders and a mental health advocate. I have not yet found the solution to “mommy guilt” nor struck the elusive work/life balance, but I love what I do and am learning to embrace where I am now. I don't believe parenting is possible without a village of love and support, and I am eternally grateful for mine. I do my best to sweat once a day, breathe deeply, and connect with those I care about most. I can never get enough coffee or Anthroplogie. I believe strongly in collaboration and surrounding myself with strong women, which has led me to this latest blogging adventure with Detroit Moms Blog. I look forward to sharing and learning with you!

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