10 Things Not to Say To Pregnant Women

As I am writing this, I am 23 weeks pregnant with my first child. I admit I am a bit more sensitive these days, but I definitely should have developed thicker skin before I became pregnant.

You see, I’ve found pregnancy to be a time when women are vulnerable to a variety of insensitive comments.  It seems that being pregnant is a signal for people to make comments or offer uninvited suggestions which may offend the soon-to-be mother. Even though people may mean well when showing their concerns about the whole pregnancy adventure, they really need to be more careful of what they say to an expecting woman.

Here, now, is my top 10 list of things that have actually been said to me, most of which should not be said to any pregnant woman.

 

Top 10 things not to say to pregnant women

 

10. “Do you want a boy or a girl?” OR “Are you disappointed it’s a girl/boy?”

Honestly does this question really matter? What is the point of even asking this question?  My main concern is the little one, his or her health, and the happiness this bundle of joy will bring to me, regardless of the gender.

 

9. “Are you sure there is only one baby in there?”

This person might as well have said, “Wow, you sure look fat.”  What I would have liked to say back to this person was, “Wow, thanks so much for saying that. I was wondering whether anyone had noticed my bump, but now I know just how huge it is.”

 

8. “Damn your hormonal.”

Um, no. I am an intelligent woman feeling annoyed about something. Just because I happen to be pregnant doesn’t mean you can combine this with an unpleasant pregnancy symptom. In case you’re interested, pregnancy mood swing comments are more aggravating than time-of-the-month comments. And besides, sometimes, I’m just in a bad mood.

 

7. “Ooh should you be doing/drinking/eating that”

It’s a sip of coffee people, not a pot of coffee.  Apparently drinking coffee, soda, using hair dye, eating McDonalds, or pizza, standing too long, sitting too long, nail polish, green tea, etc. are all things that are making me a horrible mother already.  Horrible because I do not refrain myself from almost everything on the planet.

 

6. “Are you sure that your due date is correct? You look like you’re going to have this baby tomorrow.”

Honestly this comment made me want to go on a diet, if it was even possible to go on a diet while being pregnant!

 

5. “How much do you weigh now?” 

If you wouldn’t ask this question of someone who isn’t pregnant, then don’t ask it of someone who is.
 
 

4. “You’re going to do _(Fill in the blank)_ right?” 

This “fill in the blank” can be filled with choices like breastfeed, homebirth, C-section, or whatever, saying this to a mom implies that if her decision isn’t the same as you, then it’s not the right decision.  Every mom-to-be has a reason for any decision she makes about her own pregnancy and parenting, all of which is her own choice. 
 
 

3. “Wow! You still have a ways to go!”  

Mean while I am only 23 weeks pregnant, but thanks for not blurting out that I’m as big as the broad side of a barn. Honestly, I really don’t need to be reminded that I’m not at the finish line quite yet. And I’m very much aware of just how many days I have until my due date.
 
 

2. “I was ripped open from end to end”

This comment falls into the “horror story” category. Like pregnancy, giving birth is different for every woman. This being my first birthing experience I am scared, honored, anxious, and basically any-feeling-you-can-imagine about this very special time I am about to go through. Hearing someone else’s horror story about pregnancy only makes me want to Google more, which is the one thing you should never do while being pregnant. Someone else’s bad experience shouldn’t set off panic in the mind of soon-to-be mother!
 
 

1. “You don’t even look pregnant, you just look FAT.”

OMG, this lady did not just say this! When I first heard this comment I was in shock. What can you say to this comment but to walk away with a smile while trying not to shed any tears. Some people are so ignorant of another’s feelings. Wait until she gets pregnant; maybe one day she will remember this comment and regret her choice of words.
 
image
 

2 COMMENTS

  1. This is great ! I am 25 weeks pregnant definitely made me feel more comfortable! Like I’m not the only one that thinks the same !

  2. OMG! I have been asked/told some of these things and sometimes they really make you think and almost make you depressed. A person’s comment can have a lot of mental effect on a pregnant lady especially due to hormones and stuff!

    Thank you for this great article jessica! Keep em coming

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.