The Big D

The D word. Haha not that word. But one that’s considered almost just as horrendous: DIVORCE. I know it probably isn’t what you want to think about during Valentine’s Week, but for many of us it is reality.

Despite the startling statistics that over half of marriages end in divorce, there’s an overwhelming stereotype of the divorcee. One of a desperate, poor, and saddened woman. In reality, the majority of single mothers are single by choice; they refused to settle for a marriage they were no longer happy in for one reason or another.

Contrary to the image that is ingrained into our society, single moms are rocking it! Nearly eighty percent of single mothers are gainfully employed. Many are working multiple jobs, so their child(ren) will want for nothing. 
While the end of a marriage is mentally, physically, and emotionally draining, it provides this amazing opportunity.

The opportunity to start over. The opportunity to build the life you want. The opportunity to get “it” right. Having fallen in love before just makes me want to be in love again, albeit I’ll be more cautious the next time around. I’ll be able to take the lessons I’ve learned from my past experience and apply it to this new world of dating. 

It is better to have loved and to have lost than to never have loved at all, right? Well, I believe that it’s definitely better to have loved than to have not, but lost? I don’t feel like I lost at all. I learned. I much prefer the mentality that I have loved and I have learned!

It has taken some time to get to this state of mind. To realize that I haven’t lost my hopes, dreams, and chances for the true love that I desire. I’ve learned more about myself since my divorce than I ever would have if I had stayed in a less than ideal relationship.

I have more clarity than I could have ever imagined possible. I know exactly what I want and I will not settle for anything less than what my daughter and I deserve. As for the stereotype of the desperate divorcee? The only D word to describe this mama is determined. Determined to live a beautiful, happy, magical life that is undefined by my marital status.

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