Yesterday I called my mom and actually said these words: “I need my mommy.” I am a 35 year old mother of two with another one due in a few weeks. And, yes, it is true. I still need my mom. Life is crazy right now. We are in the midst of packing up our house and staging it for sale. It will go on the market exactly four weeks before my scheduled c-section. Why? Because I love to create drama. Just kidding. It is just the way timing worked out. I am a stay at home mama and I’m finally not ashamed to say it: I need help and can’t do it all on my own.
In my perfect world I would have a nanny, night nurse, full time housekeeper, and hair and make-up team on call (okay . . . that one is a little overkill, but we can all dream, right?) But that just isn’t in the cards. I stay at home for a reason. To me and my family it was a choice we made and were lucky we had the option of making that choice. But, holy smokes it is a lot of work!
With my first baby, Charlie, I didn’t realize how good I had it. He was happy, slept well and was pretty easy going. Moving on to my adorable second, Henry, the complete opposite of his brother (but I love him just the same). It was at that moment I realized staying at home wasn’t just a cake walk. With the third blessing on the way I just thought I could power through. I could pack and clean and de-junk when they were at school and napping . . . nope! And, of course do all my normal ‘mom things.’ All I want to do is sleep. I have officially lost it. My boys, husband and probably my friends think I have gone nuts. I had to do something about it.
So, I re-prioritized. If I wasn’t in a good place I realized it had a negative affect on everyone else in the house and around me. So I called in the troops. I took up my moms offer to help me organize and stage our house. God Bless her soul. I have hired a house cleaner to come every other week. Yes, I still vacuum, sweep and tidy up, but at this point in my pregnancy I’m not getting down on my hands and knees, scrubbing behind the toilet (If you have boys you know why this needs to be done). I have enlisted the help of a neighborhood high school student to help me a few hours after school each week. She loves hanging out with the boys and I can sneak out to run a few errands, or even take a half hour rest that my body so desperately needs. Last but not least my husband has several carry out menus at his desk that he can whip out when I call him at 3:00 that afternoon and let him know that I have nothing in store for dinner, he can cook or grab something on the way home. Guess which one he usually picks!!
I used to think I could do it all, but I can’t be a good mom and do everything else right now on my own. So, I choose being a good mom and saying yes to the help I am offered. I realize these are first world problems, but this is the world I am living in right now. To the women who work outside the home and do it ALL by themselves: I give them so much credit. To the women who stay at home and do it ALL by themselves: you are a Goddess and I worship the ground you walk on. I, on the other hand, don’t feel like a failure for needing and accepting help. I welcome it.
So, when the baby comes and you politely ask if I need anything? I will be honest and tell you I do! Casseroles, childcare, baby rocking and supportive words will all be welcome.