Prior to my conscious coupling with my baby daddy, I online dated for over five years. I went on a lot of first dates, a good number of second dates, not a ton of third dates, and had exactly zero boyfriends. I mistakenly thought I had a boyfriend for about six months, but he informed me that we were not an item on my birthday on the way home from a trip to San Francisco when we still had a layover, a connecting flight, and drive from the airport to go. (I kid you not!) Tons of people meet online nowadays, and everyone has their own key to success. For me, it was important to be as open-minded as possible when it came to dates. I did my fair share of winking and messaging first, and basically, unless a guy appeared to be a serial killer, if he asked me out, I went.
How can online dating ruin sushi for someone? Let me explain. Maybe I was online dating at the height of some sushi craze or perhaps the metro-Detroit online dating scene is filled with more sushi connoisseurs than one would have thought, but it seemed like sushi was the meal of choice for a first date. The sushi served to first daters is never on a regular plate. Oh no, first date sushi is served on a boat of some kind, festooned with myriad fruit and vegetables cut into shapes, flowers, and animals to adorn the platter. As if a first date isn’t awkward enough, the sushi boat always felt like a signal to all other restaurant goers . . . “FIRST DATE HERE PEOPLE!” Since I went on a lot of first dates, I ate a lot of awkward sushi boats.
Maybe my problem with sushi is a Pavlovian response to the fact that I went on so many bad first dates. Some were epically bad, but most were bad because there just wasn’t any kind of connection in person, which was always disappointing. Maybe it’s that I don’t think sushi pairs well with beer. Maybe it’s because I was still hungry, even after my fair share of a sushi boat. Is it the lack of carbs? Maybe it’s because I spent too much money on split tabs after aforementioned bad dates. Either way, after five years of online dating and eating more sushi boats than I care to count, sushi is ruined for me.