I’ve always been a people person, a joiner. The more people around me the better. I played sports in high school, I joined a sorority in college. I organized girls nights, couples trips and kept me and my husband’s social calendar full AF. The social butterfly was a role that fit me well.
Enter motherhood. Of all of the lessons I’ve learned one of the biggest discoveries is this, I need alone time. When it was just me, alone time was easy to come by. It makes sense I didn’t realize I needed it, it was just there for the taking.
It wasn’t until I had a little one that depended on me every waking moment that I realized this mom needs some solo time to recharge. So, I take 10 minutes to myself when my husband gets home from work, I sneak in a kid-free trip to Target when I can, and I enjoy 60 minutes uninterrupted me time when I make it to the gym. I have self care on lock.
Recently, I found myself with an unexpected evening to myself. My husband was out of town and I had plans with a friend for dinner. She had to cancel (mom life, am I right?) and I just assumed I would do the same. But gosh, that seemed like a waste to ixnay a perfectly lovely babysitter and my daughter was so excited for their playtime. Instead of cancelling on myself too, I decided I was taking myself out. I’d been dying to see the new Melissa McCarthy movie, I could do that alone…right? I was hesitant, but decided to go for it.
As I drove to the theater, I was envisioning the worst case scenario. What if it was sold out and someone sat right next to me? What if I fell asleep, no one was there to wake me up and I fell asleep with my feet stuck to the floor? What if I went to use the bathroom and found myself in the wrong theater and ended up watching half of Star Wars? My mind was racing but I kept going because come on, that :what if: track was ridiculous.
I was a little nervous walking in and buying my ticket, it just felt weird to be alone in a sea of couples. But once the theater darkened and I settled in with my deluxe nachos (who was there to judge? No one!) I was golden. I laughed way too loud and stayed for the blooper reel, it was an extremely successful date night for one.
I still love my social time, but this mini adventure fueled me in a different way. I’m a relatively confident, self assured woman. I know I’m capable of doing more things alone, but would I? Someone is usually with me when I go out to dinner, but could I do that alone? I usually have my daughter in tow, but could I go to the library and cozy up with a good book? I’ll probably still chose to do things as a couple, but now that I know this option is available, I’ll push on and try new things, too!