My OBGYN is the only one who warned me. I’m guessing it’s because she had a sibling, a sister no less, whom she probably quarreled with often as a kid. “Sisters compete you know,” she said to me at one of my prenatal checkups. No, I didn’t know. How did I not know this? I have a sister. You really have to love the honesty from a doctor. I know I do.
I myself am the baby of my family; I have a brother six years older than me and a sister three years older. I don’t ever remember competing with my sister, EVER. I do remember her saying “no!!” often many times when I wanted to wear something of hers. It seems that is something we fought about most of the time. And I could never understand why she wouldn’t just let me wear her shirt or a piece of jewelry. It would make me upset but not to the point of physically hurting her.
I never imagined that having two girls three and a half years apart would cause so much chaos in our home. So very much. The fighting started about one year ago when my youngest started toddling around, getting into her sister’s things – namely her Barbie dolls.
It is on a daily – I mean, hourly, basis that I am putting out fires. There has been hair pulling, face slashing, pushing, biting, you name it. My girls stop at nothing to prove their point to the other. My five-year-old is pretty strong-willed, competitive, and hates when her sister looks at any of her doll collection. Like totally hates it. I’m guessing it makes her blood boil the same way it makes my blood boil when I hear the constant screaming in my house.
I have explained to my oldest that her things are now to be shared with her younger sister. I mean those darn Barbie Dreamhouses are almost $200 a pop. She’s insane to think we would possibly buy her sister the exact same costly toy. The darn thing takes up a quarter of our living room. And on the other side of the room sits the Monster High School which takes up another quarter of our living room. Dollhouses, doll houses EVERYWHERE and they fight over the same one each time. My little one isn’t as interested in the Monster High dolls just yet, but anytime she moves a doll from point A to point B – all hell breaks loose. And did I mention my five-year-old has over FIFTY Barbies and probably twenty plus Monster High dolls!
I knew there would be disagreements and tears . . . I just never imagined I’d be this exhausted from raising girls. I always heard boys were so much work. I heard boys just go, go, go and wrestle one another – play fighting which sometimes ends up into ER visits, but I have to say – having girl siblings is no easy feat. They scream, they cry, oh boy do they cry. They each have their own personality, but the drama, the drama is there with both of them.
My oldest has been dramatic since she made her appearance into this world. She is bold, and quite a spitfire. My youngest is more laid back but now that she can talk, she talks our ear off about any tiny, tiny boo boo she has. She is more of a bully than her older sister. The little one is also two-years-old so this may just be the age, but she does love to pull her sister’s hair when something doesn’t go her way.
There are moments, sweet golden moments I like to refer to them as when both girls play with each other and there is harmony in our home. I sure do love those thirty minutes of each day when they tolerate one another. It is usually either right after breakfast or right after dinner. Not sure why. Maybe when their bellies are full, they feel jollier and more willing to play nice.
Nevertheless, I want more than thirty minutes of laughter and joy. When I found out I was having another girl I imagined the two of them playing together, laughing, and having sleepovers in each other’s room, giggles. I imagined so many giggles and hugs. And while those are present – they just aren’t as present as I’d like for them to be.
I sure hope my girls grow to enjoy one another’s company much like I enjoy time spent with my own sister. She and I have two different personalities and yet we’ve seemed to find a common ground.
But maybe we did fight more as kids and I simply just do not remember. There was a time she scratched the side of my face (and I still have a faint scar) but have no recollection of the reason for the fight. Something stupid I’d imagine since we were still both in our younger teen years. We never fought over friends or boys. We always had to share a room growing up and we even moved out together in our first apartment.
We’ve always been pretty close, but it didn’t always feel that way as kids. Maybe as you mature, you realize the importance of a sibling?!
I believe all parents want their kids to get along and to love one another. The fact of the matter is that’s not always the case. I suppose it’s something I have to accept. Just because they’re related doesn’t mean they have to like one another. But they sure as heck have to love one another if this mama has anything to say about it.