When life changes, so do your friendships. Some of your friendships are rock solid and some stand the test of time and change. Others are for a season or reason they’ve entered and exited your life.
We all know that once we have children life changes; every single aspect of life changes. You change, along with your friendships, spouse, and your social circle. Well, what do you do now that you only have a few, if any, friends you can lean on during your most trying part of life? I found that my mom’s group saved my life in so many unexpected ways. A mom’s group you say, yes, there are such things and not so strange as you think.
We lived in Indiana when I gave birth. We were seven hours away from everything I knew. Friends, family, my entire social comfort zone. I didn’t make any “ride or die” friendships, but friends I appreciated during that period of life. When I had my son, I didn’t know of any outlets per se. I recall chatting on the phone with a friend in Michigan, whose daughter was a few months younger than Vinny. She told me about taking her daughter to story time at the local library, and how much they loved it! I never knew of baby story times?!? I ended up taking Vinny weekly. It was our jam. I got to know a few familiar faces, and started chatting after story time. One of the moms mentioned a mom’s group, so I inquired about it. I went to the next playgroup and was pleasantly surprised by the amount of events they had, plus, mom’s night outs.
I recall my first playgroup, where Vinny fell asleep on the car ride there and I nervously sat in the mom’s driveway. He was about nine months old, so I took him inside in his car seat, and the moms welcomed me with open arms. The kids played, while the older kids swooned over him since he was the youngest at this particular playgroup. He spit-up and pooped, and I felt so embarrassed, but the moms didn’t bat an eye. I forgot for a second that they, too, went through this rodeo. The hostess had snacks for the kids and welcomed everyone with open arms. It seems so silly, but I felt so comfortable for the first time in a LONG time.
I decided to join, but didn’t realize this group would become my “thing”. I learned through these moms so many different tidbits about motherhood. I looked forward to getting out of the house, and watching my son learn and grow from other kids. I got out of the house some evenings to have a nice, hot meal with the group to chat without getting interrupted by the little humans. It was an experience that I welcomed in my lonely motherhood journey.
After Mike accepted a job offer in Michigan, the first thing I did was hunt for a mom’s group. It was my saving grace in Indiana, so it was on my list of to-do’s with the move. Yes, my family and friends are in the metro Detroit area, but many of my friends and family work, as well as, being about 45 minutes from our new city. I knew I still needed a mom group. Vinny and I attended a mom group event literally after we moved, and so happy we did. It offered us a few days a week to go about town for playgroups, activities, and learned our new area quite fast.
Within my group, I have met some incredible, remarkable women who have become my tribe. These woman have been my light to some very dark days, the reason to get dressed certain days, and evenings that I look forward to getting on real clothes, and having adult conversations. I have created some incredible friendships that will last for years to come.
Here are some ways to find your local mom’s group:
- Detroit Moms Blog offers groups for everyone, regardless if you are a stay-at-home mom, working mom, or a little of both. Join one of our Facebook mom groups to join our next MNO or playdate.
- MOMS (Moms Offering Moms Support) Club is a national organization with local chapters all over the country. Head over to to find your local chapter.
- MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) an international organization that meets during the school year. MOPS groups meet within a church, although, you do not have to be a parishioner of the church to partake in MOPS.
- Meet-up is an app/website that has various meet-ups throughout the country. If you are looking for something specific such as, a running mom group, adoptive mom group, or single moms group. Head over to Meetup.com to find your group.
- Make your own mom group. Do you have a circle of friends that you already that you have playdates with? Have those friends invite some of their friends, and so on. There you go – You created your own mom group!
Go ahead pick one or all of them. Go find your tribe. You will not feel alone, or feeling stir-crazy. You have a reason to leave the house. You will be happier, and a better mom to your child when you find an outlet. Some moms enjoy staying busy every single day. While others just want a day or two to escape. Whichever mom you are, there is a group that fits you! Go ahead!